A Cup of Cappuccino and a Straw

The quest for the better half has made me go through various new experiences, some of them surprisingly shocking and others very predictable.

For starters, love really surprises me; it feels like you’re on top of the world when you’re in it and in hell when out of it! Well, analysing the passing of events, one might say I fell in love with a person who can only fall in love with Numbers. Post that, the decision to accept what the fate has in store for thy dearest, with head held high,- serves tea, talks to total strangers (thinking-is this it?) and laughs at its outcomes.

So, here is a typical setting; CCD, a stranger sitting opposite you, trying to judge you from every action/words you speak and a cup of cappuccino (assuring me that All is Well!). But before venturing into that, friends, I would like to tell you the story behind a cup-of-cappuccino and a straw. A very close friend of mine was also going through the same experience when we were in our 3rd semester of PG in Bangalore. She was not-so-comfy with the whole situation (and I totally understand that now) went to meet a doctor-guy (X) on her parent’s perusal. Ordered her coffee and started a conversation with Mr. X. When her coffee arrived, it was a little extra frothy, afraid not to make a smiley on her face from coffee’s froth; she blurted out to the waiter- “Can I have a straw please”. Yes, my friends, she had her cappuccino with a straw! We still laugh by the mere thought of X’s facial expression when that happened.

Back to the setting, having gone through his educational qualifications and job profile, I agreed to meet the first guy from a marriage portal. (For further convenience, we shall refer this guy as Mr. Y). Being highly qualified and having a job that I envy, I was proud of my mother’s searching skills for finding Y. Apart from the fact that I could have a normal conversation with Y, what amazed me was that even being too well read could be a cause of concern. On being informed that this was my first meeting, Y, in a very concerned manner, cited from the book- Fooled By Randomness (by Nassim N. Taleb), that one should never settle in for the first thing that comes his/her way, and that was the reason for him to reject the first girl his parents found for him. And there I knew- it’s time for me to ask for a straw :)

Every such meeting requires me to make a decision whether I want to proceed knowing this guy more or not. It’s always very tough to ask your self- Is this it? Is this the one whom I am going to spend 3/4th of my life? I have always found that answer after analysing a lot and a little too late, not realising that that voice from with-in is always guiding me correctly.

PS: Guys, Fooled by Randomness is a lovely book with a completely different message in it! Try catching it up!

The Ripple Effect

All of us go through many ups and downs in our life, facing numerous challenges in different spheres, be it in the form of academics, relationships, career among others. Sometimes we receive applause for our work, criticized and some times we fail in either one or more of these forms. Handling success comes easily, however what do we do when something unexpected, unplanned for happens? I am sure we try to face it with a strong attitude. And carry on with life with a stoic face, only to realise after a period of time what has actually happened. As the time passes by that Void keeps on widening. Ripple by ripple the effects are felt deeper and their consequences become a reality. The realisation of its existence is the first sign of acceptance.
But the good part is, those ripples do fade away and you make peace with them. Wait, here come another one!

Perplexing Thoughts (Flux)

Recently I went to the book fair held in Delhi with mom. Having gone there since my childhood, I realised there is less to benefit from the fair if you go with a fixed set of books/genre on your list, rather explore them with an open mind, you never know what you get your hands on.

So here I was on the first day it self and taking the advantage of the information not yet passed well to the larger general public about the book fair being open to all. Enjoying the experience of going through so many thoughts and words, I had no idea what I was looking for. All of a sudden I find myself standing in front of this whole section of books on investing-in stock market, MFs et al. And the next moment I was going through them and sure enough after a thorough search, I had one in my hand.

Being satisfied that I found something of my interest, I simply saw ma freely going through books and there she picks up a thin 200-page book- Sidhartha, by Herman Hesse. I enjoyed the reading experience of this book, would recommend it to everyone. And, reading the Stock market investment book is another learning experience by itself (a very slow one though!)

Sidhartha is about a life journey of a Brahmin boy, brought up by his loving parents with devotion towards God. The book answered a lot of questions and the importance of the word “OM”, that in order to attain the goal of spiritualism one needs to experience all the ups and downs in life, be it a beautiful relationship with your loved one, or a sour one with your child. You need to experience all sets of emotions to realise that the source is one. That good and evil, heaven and hell, all are one. The distinction is made to simplify things. That the drain and the river go into the same sea.

On one hand, I am reading how to multiply my money by clever investments and on the other hand I am reading about how to avoid the maya as we all call it. And I enjoyed reading both the books, gained a lot spiritually through Sidhartha and mentally through Mr. N.J. Yasaswy’s knowledge about investments. Well the outcome was the decision to join Yoga and a course on stock market investments!

Highly Qualified and Financially Illiterate

After working for just 5 months I have realized the value of time, money and energy. Energy is needed to think and grow mentally on a daily basis and to canalize our thought process in a productive and effective manner. The question to be asked here is what is the purpose of education? Is it getting a good job and manage one’s expenses or something beyond it? The basic truth is that we go out of our homes every morning and spend the day working for some one else, in order to be compensated, if I may say so, at the end of the month. The purpose thus becomes, perform well to earn well. But what after that? What do we do with the income earned?

Mostly people are clueless or worse, ignorant about their financial position. Irrespective of the income bracket one lies in, there are numerous methods to make money work for you. Money is an important aspect in everyone’s life, it buys you goods and services, luxury and entertainment, and last but not the least, security for your future. An expenditure group is vital for an individual, what matters is how much importance is laid on a particular aspect. Do I prefer investing or spending? Similar preferences need to be recognized.

Categorization of a performance set could be done by simply jotting down expenditure items on one side and the amount spent on it on a monthly basis on the other side. For example education, food, rent, clothes, entertainment, investment, house-hold expenditure etc...After the allotment process is over, a detailed analysis is required for investing your money in the right channel. For this you need to realize whether you are a high risk taking person or would like to play it safe.

Thus, the initial step is to:
Categorize- your preference set
Choose- between High risk or Low risk investments

Ps: Money lying idle in the bank is a source for the banks to earn from it and not you

Loss of Innocence

As a child, I used to wonder why elders around us always said that childhood is the best part of our lives. Childhood, a phase, we hardly remember. I am, but of course referring to below 5-6 years of a child’s life. When school was not a torture but a fun place to go, homework was not on back of our minds, when playing until dusk would bring the happiest and brightest smiles on our faces. In short, simple things gave us happiness, which today is hard to find.

As we grow up, we go through so many challenges, right from giving our final exams to finishing a race with hopes that the lad behind me isn’t catching up! This phase-the cocoon, a child is constantly guarded, guided and provided an environment conducive enough to concentrate on his/her studies. Our parents have strived hard to make sure that we live in this cocoon till the time we start making our own decisions.

And now here comes the bigger challenge, a challenge for which no one can prepare us for, coming in terms with the repercussions of decisions made and facing the world with it as our only support. Some may refer to it as their big plan, often with an added reference to their Plan B. The journey makes us meet different people, travel, work hard and learn. Learn from our mistakes, misbelieves and pain. Pain, because it pains every time we trust the wrong people, do not achieve our targets or are lagging far behind them. Surviving and being ahead of others as well as our plans is all that is thought of. The innocence we brought with our selves as a child is somehow lost somewhere down the line.

The Invisible Hand

Just when you think that everything is fianlly fine or in better words bearable, BOOM! There comes another rollercoaster towards you. Sometimes you see it coming, sometimes you dont. It could be somthing from you past, present and sometimes your intution warns you for the upcoming ride.

We never realise what will affect us when. Sitting comfortably in our office/homes/classes, straining our eyes by either watching TV or comp. or reading, we are unconcious of the fact that our brain is receiving and storing so much of information through words, images and sounds. What does the brain plan to do with it? One might say that it depends on the state of mind- use the information towards something "constructive" or could let it just lay around. That is a choice everyone of us makes every second, conciously or unconciously.

How does all this affect your subconcious mind? We react to situations in a different manner, and depending on that we let our emotions and health to be receptive to the world around us. I guess the word I am looking for is the attitude towards life.

But then there are many things which are beyond our control. And one can not depend on coincidence for a solution. Then what justifies them?

From Gurgaon, with love

Every morning, while I travel from my humble abode to the high-tech office in Gurgaon, I come across so many thoughts by just looking out of the window. It’s a journey full of despair and anger, will to survive and hope, that one day, people will wake up and realise the consequences of their actions, this time with eyes wide open.

Everybody is so engrossed in their own thought processes and work; walking fast towards the bus/cab stop, breaking all the traffic rules while driving ( you know what cab drivers do to make sure you reach your office on time!). Honking continuously when a cow or any other animal, by mistake, comes in front of the car, swaying so close to the animal that you just can’t miss the anguish and pain in their eyes. Staying in Gurgaon, you will realise that there are other animals apart from cows to be seen on a daily basis, especially pigs.

Our journey from being a nomad to civilized people has led to the sacrifice of other species’ quality of life. Because of our superiority of thought process and capability to put those into actions has led us to believe that nature and its gifts – better known as “resources”, are made for us to utilize them, time and again, till they get exhausted. And yes, many of us are still on a denial mode that nature will put its hands up in the air and wave the white flag.

While I write this, I am constantly reminded of MJ’s Earth song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4FZcAzZOyOg